Wednesday, June 28, 2006


How Do YOU Spell SUCCESS?????

Is it getting to the bathroom just in time?
Is it by having a clean house for the first time in 5 years?
Is it by writing that perfect memoire and someone wants to publish it?
Or is it by remembering where you put your keys?
Or by getting through another hectic school year?
Is it by the car you drive?
The house that you live in?
The fact that you are married?
Single?
With child?
Childless?
Full of dreams?
Having a dream come true?

When I first moved in with my boyfriend who later became my husband I became a 'Denmother' of sorts. He owned a house and all these guys lived with him. All these guys were in good paying jobs with corporate companies and me...
We at one time had four guys living in our three bedroom abode.
It was certainly an interesting time...
There was one guy Dr. Jekyl, in particular that had a love/hate realtionship with me.
You see the guy had a drinking problem. He could avoid drink for weeks but when he drank...
Yowzaa!
He was self destructive. And living in a house full of guys they thought the behaviour was odd... but none of them were going to get involved...
Well, one morning, I awoke early and found blood smeared across the hallway. At the entranceway to our house a wee pool of blood.
My boyfriend was showering when I made the grim discovery of blood.There was a mad scramble around the house due to the fact we were all embarking on a roadtrip/ wedding.
Mr. Jekyl meekly comes down the stairs. He has been beaten up. He has blood caked in his hair, he has a wound on his face from a guy who punched him with a big honking ring.
Now, I could bore you with all the details of our love/hate thing and how our fight really began there. I could point out that I just wouldn't let it go as I cleaned and dressed his wound.
I could point out that I called him a liar.
I called him a lot of things.
I could point out that I was the only one who got involved...
I got my hands dirty.
Everyone else just kinda said to lighten up and would retort that these things kinda happen...
Did not know what planet they were from.
From that day on, for four months we fought. He quit drinking to prove me wrong.
We fought continually. He hated me.
And I can not remember the litany of crap I put up with at the time but I put up with a lot.
All because I spoke up about his aloholism. It was the elephant in our house and for some unknown reason I cared.
He moved away. And I thought'Good Riddance'
And after a month or two he started calling..ME... Not any of the guys...Not his buddies... ME...
He would phone at ungodly hours(drunk) but somehow I knew I had to listen...
I would love to say there was an epiphany moment but there was none...
There was just me listening to him...
He then, decided to go on an adventure...He couldn't like life in our country or maybe he just couldn't find himself through the confines of our society, I have no idea.He has never said why, he does, what he does.
The man got on his bike and cycled from England to India.
No prep work. He just did it...
And from that day he has been travelling.
He only nurses one beer a month. Does not drink at all.
His last adventure was from Terra Del Fuego up to Alaska and across Canada all on bike.
He comes to visit on occasion.
And the last time he came he apologized for all he put me through.
He gave no excuses just an apology. And I gave him forgiveness.
He is now residing in Korea teaching English.
He is coming to stay with us in a few days.
And now when I think of him.
I think of Success...

26 comments:

Catch said...

what a lovely story! you did more for him than you will ever know!

Nikki said...

That's the best story I have read in a while.

I'm really enjoying your blog.

chelle said...

wow, that is an amazing story! You are a great person to endure what you did, and he indeed is a success for coming around!!Enjoy your visit!

chelle said...

wow, that is an amazing story! You are a great person to endure what you did, and he indeed is a success for coming around!!Enjoy your visit!

mama_tulip said...

That was an amazing story. I loved the way you wrote it.

kristi said...

That is amazing that through you another person found himself. This man owes you his life, you saved him without trying....Kudos to you

Suburban Turmoil said...

What a great story. I agree. Major Success. :)

Undercover Angel said...

Amazing story! You really did a lot for him!

sunshine scribe said...

That is an incredible story. Thanks so much for sharing it.

kim said...

Now thats what you call being a real friend ... :)

Kristin said...

What a wonderful and, as always, well told story... you are right... that type of positive influence can only be called SUCCESS!

Pendullum said...

Dear Catch, Nikki Chelle, Mama Tulip, Kristi, Suburban Turmoil, Undercover Angel, Sunshine Scribe, Kim and Kristin,
Thanks so much for your positive imput...
I get all embarassed to think of it as saving him...
Do not know if I saved him...
But he certainly now has a more interesting story to tell...

Catch said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog and saying you say a prayer for me..I appreciate that very much! Tonight I have my a/c on AND my fan...lol..no wonder I have 3 quilts on my bed in the middle of the summer!

Mommy off the Record said...

Wow, your stories always keep me captivated. You have had some interesting experiences. Can't wait to see what you'll post about next!

Kristi said...

Makes me want to do something exciting. Though bike across a continent isn't on my agenda anytime soon.

Rhonda said...

I'm late in stopping by to thank you for stopping by my blog.

But, Wow! I really loved this post. What an amazing story. Thank you for sharing it.

pinknest said...

wow, a great story. and actually sounds like someone i know as well.

Kevin Charnas said...

You honestly just gave me chills. That was a beautifully written story and I loved it.
And, I'm happy for you both.
Stay true. :)

The Silent K said...

Wow- I would be so interested to talk to him. Alaska on a bike? Did I read that right? Wow.

marsha_tm said...

What an inspiring story. And you're an amazing person for reaching out to him.

Painter Beach Girl said...

I am very close with a recovering alcoholic, who I did not know when he was drinking but feel like I have a good feeling of the kind of person he was when he was drinking because he talks openly about it. Apologizing to people they have hurt is a big part of recovery and the fact that you were there all that time is a powerful testament to your care of other people, even if there is continuing conflict. I dont read much about this on blogs and am glad you wrote this one.

Jodi said...

WOW! That is a powerful powerful story. WOW~I wish that things like this happened more~if they do you sure don't hear about them. Good for you~good for him! You must have been just what he needed at the time.

Pendullum said...

Thanks everyone for the support on this story...
WHen I wrote it I really did put out of my mind all that I went through with this guy... But worth it... and we had a good visit this time...

Krista, you read right...

Alaska...
He has some pretty interesting stories to tell... Would love to tell them... But they are his stories... So I must stay mute on them...I hope that someday he will write them for others to travel to these places vicariously with him...

He is saving up this year and he is going to CYCLE China and go through the Far East,Karakastan and the rest and he is going to end his adventure on his bike in South Africa...

I certainly love all of your stories and am totally captivated by all your blogs...
Enough of my gushing!!!Heartfelt as it is...

Lisa said...

What a fabulous post. He's lucky he had you in his life when he needed someone to care!

34quinn said...

awesome story!!!
from beginning to ending to new beginnings again when he comes to visit.bravo!

lildb said...

that's awesome. and you are a hero -- especially to the fella in the story.

wow.