Saturday, July 08, 2006


Planets In My Universe Went Bam!!!!

As I mentioned in my earlier blog I lived with all these guys. And Harvey was a guy that lived with us the longest. He was a constant. He had a good disposition. He made bread on the weekends, he liked to dance when he was drunk. He even liked and even laughed at my husband's bad jokes. Harvey always kept his cards close to his chest. You never really knew what was going through his head or his heart.

Harvey founded a company with a partner. He worked very hard at this company. The company did well. He never had the desire for opulent wealth just comfort. Harvey always believed that he was fortunate and he always gave back to the community.He had the opportunity a few years ago to give back and went to India to work, for four months, in an orphanage. He's that type of guy. He worked hard. Was honest. He sold to all my artist friends, at cost. No profit.

Anyway, he expanded his company and long and short of it, one of his employees robbed him blind and now he and his partner are losing everything. He is going for broke. Not bitter. Just the way it is. He feels a fool but can not change the past.

Now, apparently, if you are ever in the position of bankruptcy, it becomes like a mind altering experience. A man that always has played his cards close to his chest will tell you everything about his life. No stone left uncovered so to speak.

So when we had our soiree for Mr. Jekyle a few nights ago, he was with his closest of intimate friends that he had kept at bay for 20 years, and he decides to share his life's story. As the night progressed he opened up. He talked and talked and we were all riveted to his life's story. A story. A journey that certainly had Dr. Jekyle in awe.

All of us were dumbfounded as the conversation was deep, insightful, painful, funny, and mindblowing in its honesty.

Harvey talked about his failures, his triumphs, his recent loss of his company, going bankrupt and he also talked about his lost loves and of his regrets.

Harvey is married now, and he loves his wife, Margaret, incredibly, and adores his children. And because of that he thinks that he is grounded for the obstacles up ahead. It has been the worst year of his life but he kept on saying that he has is health and his family is healthy. It took him a long time to put it in perspective but now it is...

But before he got to the point where he was this married guy, he was a sad bachelor.

He was a bachelor looking for love. And at one time he was dating two girls who were good friends... And he had to make a choice between either Rita(my friend) or Alice, no friend of mine, but a good friend of Rita's.
Rita was a devout Roman Catholic, from a large family. She blushed, was soft spoken, kind, well read, a wee bit uncertain of herself and a virgin. She had a hardy laugh when she heard a good story and always had a kind word. But the virgin thing at the age of 28 can be a bit daunting for a man I suppose. And Mary Tyler Moore character is hard to figure into a 3D life I suppose.

Alice on the otherhand was a powerhouse. She was strong and confident and took life by its horns... Never had a doubt about herself or where she was going. She had a swagger to her walk and a head that was cocked up, ready to look you in the eye whenever she spoke.

Harvey chose Alice. And regretted it. (Alice, the skallywag, broke up with Harvey on his birthday 2 years later.)

As a result of Harvey choosing Alice, I dealt with a very, sad and dejected Rita. She slowly faded from the picture as it was too painful to see Harvey at functions.

I would bump into Rita on and off again. We always had a good laugh. We would run into a coffee shop and get updated in the course of a coffee. The last time I ran into her she was happily married and had a beautiful girl.

Harvey, just before our Dr. Jekyle soiree bumped into Alice. She lives a block away from where he is raising his family and they have never seen each other up until now. They had a quick conversation and that was that.
Harvey came to the party without his wife as they could not afford a sitter.
Harvey relayed his story of bumping into Alice and he wondered aloud what ever happened to Rita.

He told the group that he still to this day regrets his cowardice in dealing with Rita. He misses her friendship. He thought that she was absolutely something extrodinary. Age has taught him all of this. He misses her. He would not trade in his life. It is just a feeling of 'whatif'... and 'I am sorry' that he has always wanted to relay...

Now, I was walking down the street, a week after our soiree, and I bumped into my neighbour that I always share, brief life's lessons about our kids and living in our hood. We always have a good laugh. Today our conversation took a turn ...I find out that this neighbour that I have been having a good ole laugh with for the past ten years is Alice's sister..., Wow...
But the story continues...
If that is not enough to blow my mind...

Alice has just connected back up Rita. It seems as though Alice after bumping into Harveylast week , just happened to bump into Rita's best friend directly afterwards. The best friend of Rita's told Alice some devastating news.

My neighbour has just informed me that Alice is helping to nurse Rita. Rita is dying. She has but days to live. She is in and out of coma and it is just a matter of time. The family knows that she is not coming home. They do not have enough money to pay for the round the clock nurses and friends are picking up the slack.
Alice has just become one of them as of last week.

I write this to all of you while I have the phone beside me waiting for Harvey to return home to get my message.
I am waiting to tell Harvey this horrible news. But somehow I think the universe has gone BAM! that all of this has happened, and that there is some lesson here...
Some hard terrible lesson that Harvey and I are about to embark on and I am so sad.
I am sad for Rita.
I am sad for her 6 year old daughter. I am so sad for her soulmate and heart's companion.
I am sad for Harvey.
Somewhere in the universe, a planet has decided to set all of us in motion colliding towards Rita in her last days...
And now I sign off and wait for Harvey's call...
and wait for my neighbour to call with all the info so that I can be put on the list ... and maybe Harvey will sit with me...

27 comments:

chelle said...

ok that gave me shivers! I cannot believe all the twists and how sad that Rita is dying :( I do hope you both have time with her before she goes.

Pendullum said...

Me, too...
I still cannot believe how all these things happened all at once.

Nikki said...

I have goose bumps.

It is funny how life twists and turns.

Kristin said...

"Colliding toward Rita"... what powerful imagery... I will keep your friend, and all of you, in my thoughts.

Kevin Charnas said...

wow...with a heavy heart and my most peaceful thoughts, I'll be thinking of you all...

Mommy off the Record said...

Oh, wow. That is amazing that you have all being re-connected at the end of her life. I hope she finds closure with everyone...and moves on in peace.

Undercover Angel said...

I have shivers up and down my spine after reading that. Isn't it odd how the universe works - reconnecting you all after this time - when Rita needs you all the most...

IzzyMom said...

That is unbelievably heavy & sad. It just seems so divinely scripted.

It actually reminds me of that line in Desiderata...

And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.


(And you, by the way, are a masterful storyteller)

Rhonda said...

Stories like this make me sure there are more to these kind of things than coincidence. How sad. I'll be thinking of all of you.

mothergoosemouse said...

How terribly sad, for both Harvey and Rita (and her family, of course). I can't begin to imagine how he will react when he hears what has happened. Perhaps on some level (and I feel rotten for saying this) it will help him come to grips with the decision he made years ago and allow him to finally move on.

Comic Mummy said...

I love stories like these because it is so reassuring to think that things are 'meant' to happen. I mean, while it is still devastating of course that Rita is so sick, at least you all have a chance to be around her to say goodbye, rather than finding out about it all too late.

Take care... :-)

kim said...

the universe is a strange place thats for sure and its terribly sad bout Rita ...im sorry and wish you strength to get thru whatever you have to do *hugs*

and did i see somewhere that it is your birthday ? if so ...happy birthday :)

Moobs said...

THat is extradordinary. How did Harvey rect to the news when you spoke to him?

crazymumma said...

Oh how the universe humbles all of us. What a sad story of loss. Anne

sunshine scribe said...

That gave me shivers too. You are all in my thoughts. Your words wove this story so poignantly that it will stay with me all day.

Anonymous City Girl said...

I am so sorry.
You and Harvey are lucky to have each other and the time you both had with Rita in this time when friends really need to lean on each other.

MommyWithAttitude said...

What a sad and touching story.

Painter Beach Girl said...

okay, CAN I CRY ANY HARDER?????? You have some quite awesome friends

Pendullum said...

Moobs, You know, I had a bit of self doubt as my husband said... that Harvey has moved on and he would probably want to remember Rita the way she was... He is Harvey's best friend and he thought that would be it...
Well, my husband is wrong... Harvey called said that he has not been able to sleep...
It's my birthday today and I thought the ideal present would to find Rita and what hospice she is in and figure out the day... As this needs to be done...We are going to take a shift looking after Rita...this week... I am so sad but grateful that we will be able to see her and let her know how much she was loved by us...

Izzy, thank you for the quote from Desiderata. I repeated it to Harvey and somehow we found comfort in that...

I have to believe that it his her powerful spirit drawing us to her... and for that I am grateful...How often do you have the opportunity to nurse, love and say goodbye?

crazymumma said...

Happy Birthday Hon.....xoxoAnne

Catch said...

How sad for Rita and how terribly sad for her young daughter. I hope you both have a little time with her before she goes. Im sorry you are losing a good friend...God bless.

mama_tulip said...

I'm so sorry. For everyone.

Oh, The Joys said...

Wow. That is intense.

Thanks for your visit - I am looking forward to your crush story!

kristi said...

That is so sad...Life has a funny way of throwing us all together when need be!!!!! Everything Happens for a Reason. Maybe in the beginning Harvey played the role in bringing the 2 women together for what lay ahead for them many many years later.

tracey said...

Wow. That's heartbreaking. This is my first visit here. I'm stunned.

And BTW, your photography is beautiful.

pinknest said...

baffling. all these connections. they mean something beyond a superficial level.

Attila The Mom said...

Oh this is just heartbreaking.

You wrote about it so well.

<---off to get a kleenex.