Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Are You the Age You Are? Or????Are YOU, just Faking IT?
My Dad has this theory that you are born the age you are.
Some people were just born old...
Some are born young etc.
I had this actor friend that recently passed away. It made the news. And while I marveled at his obituary on the radio I was struck by his age. I never knew how old he was... I never defined him by an age. And there it was. His age forever more on the radio and I couldn't believe it.
He had a presence of spirit. He had a mischievous twinkle to his eye. He could laugh like no tomorrow. He could tell a good story AND listen to one. He took chances and learned new things. He loved life and life loved him back. A light gone. But while he was here for 72 short years that light burned brightly.
I have a grandmother. She was old before I met her. She lived in the past. She complained about her joints . She complained about the pain of growing old. The misery of it all. 'Youth is wasted on the youth' she would often say. This quote when I do the math... Was said when she was 48 years of age. She is now 83 and she is dying. But was she dead before I met her?
I wonder about this. I still see myself as a gal that loves to skip rope. I can still see myself riding my absolutely favourite banana bike with the wind blowing through my hair. I still love to sing songs. I still feel that tingling insecure girl feeling when walking into a new situation. I still bite my lower lip if I am feeling insecure. I still can cry.And I sometimes I just need a hug to make it better. And I can still laugh. I still will call my mom in times of trouble. I still turn up the stereo to new levels of high when my 'favourite song' causing me to squeal with delight, sing and dance all at the same time....And sometimes I still need to gab on the telephone for hours with a grrrrrfriend... I still see myself as a girl of twelve.
And then, I pass a shop window and I see this woman? When did I grow up? I don't remember doing that? I have a husband, a kid, a dog, a house and debt??? Am I playing make believe? Or have I grown up?
Are we defined by our age? Or does our age define us?