Wednesday, June 07, 2006


Are You the Age You Are? Or????Are YOU, just Faking IT?

My Dad has this theory that you are born the age you are.

Some people were just born old...
Some are born young etc.

I had this actor friend that recently passed away. It made the news. And while I marveled at his obituary on the radio I was struck by his age. I never knew how old he was... I never defined him by an age. And there it was. His age forever more on the radio and I couldn't believe it.
He had a presence of spirit. He had a mischievous twinkle to his eye. He could laugh like no tomorrow. He could tell a good story AND listen to one. He took chances and learned new things. He loved life and life loved him back. A light gone. But while he was here for 72 short years that light burned brightly.

I have a grandmother. She was old before I met her. She lived in the past. She complained about her joints . She complained about the pain of growing old. The misery of it all. 'Youth is wasted on the youth' she would often say. This quote when I do the math... Was said when she was 48 years of age. She is now 83 and she is dying. But was she dead before I met her?

I wonder about this. I still see myself as a gal that loves to skip rope. I can still see myself riding my absolutely favourite banana bike with the wind blowing through my hair. I still love to sing songs. I still feel that tingling insecure girl feeling when walking into a new situation. I still bite my lower lip if I am feeling insecure. I still can cry.And I sometimes I just need a hug to make it better. And I can still laugh. I still will call my mom in times of trouble. I still turn up the stereo to new levels of high when my 'favourite song' causing me to squeal with delight, sing and dance all at the same time....And sometimes I still need to gab on the telephone for hours with a grrrrrfriend... I still see myself as a girl of twelve.

And then, I pass a shop window and I see this woman? When did I grow up? I don't remember doing that? I have a husband, a kid, a dog, a house and debt??? Am I playing make believe? Or have I grown up?
Are we defined by our age? Or does our age define us?

Just asking.

12 comments:

Mommy off the Record said...

Interesting post! My dad was definitely born old. Other people even tell him that. But that's just his personality.

You are lucky that you are so carefree! That spirit will likely keep you young and healthy!

P.S. Thanks for visiting my blog earlier. Nice to meet ya!

Pendullum said...

Nice to meet you too...
You have a great blog... I especially like the 80's crush... I had a great laugh...

Do you picture yourself as a certain age?

Self-Proclaimed Supermom said...

Age does define in this society. But I say, act how you feel, no matter what your age. Because guess what, I still love to be a little kid :)

Diana - Teacher Mom said...

I think we too often let our age define our roles. And the older we get, the more pressure we put on ourselves to act our age and fulfill our obligations to society. But if we could remember that growing older equates to taking on more responsibility, perhaps we could focus more on enjoying life as it comes instead of acting out a predestined role.

Does that make any sense?

Anyway, this was a very well-written post. I'm glad you stopped by my blog.

cameo said...

oooooooo, pendullum - you're a mystery. no profile. no hint of identity. drives this type a girl a little nuts. obviously a girl. in the theatre? ??????????
do tell more.

in response to this post. i'm still waiting to grow up too. and everyone still looks older than me. even when i look back at my highschool yearbook, the seniors when i was a freshman look older than i feel now. more put together. focused.

i sing and dance around the house daily. i crank tunes in the car. i do my best to embarass my kids daily. i have fun a lot.

my dearest soul mate is an 89 year old former vaudeville performer who still plays the piano daily.

i hope to live to 96, and still wonder what it feels like to be grown up.

see ya.

Kristi said...

I love this post! And I wonder where I'd fit in...old, young, or just right? I think I'm a just right kind of girl but I shudder at the thought of my kids seeing me as being old at a young age. Very interesting...

Wendy said...

I feel young, and I'm always a little startled when my birthday comes around, because I really don't think I match my age.

Jodi said...

You know, it's funny because I am 36-years-old now and I finally feel like how I have felt my whole life inside finally matchs my life on the outside, does that make sense??!?! I have ALWAYS tended to be a bit serious minded and kind of uptight and that really doesn't fit a 19-year-old, but now that I am older physically I feel more comfortable with who I am as a person. Does that make any sense whatsoever?!?!?! Probably not. I would have to say that I have a middle aged soul. :)

mothergoosemouse said...

Interesting. As a child, I was always far too serious for my age. But as an adult, when I look in the mirror, I don't see a woman. I think I'm stuck in some sort of chronological purgatory.

Teri M. said...

I think I comment in my head on this exact subject at least once a day. It continues to amaze me that I am a trusted adult and no longer 17.

Panda said...

I'm about to turn 37 and still feel like I'm 15 most days. I dont think I act like an adult the majority of the time. I have too much fun doing silly stuff.

chicaloungin said...

38 now, I went through a minor identity crisis a few years ago when it seemed I was the most immature person I knew... but then I realized I was judging my life on standards I had actually chosen not to attend to: marriage, children, house.

I spent most of my 20s and 30s traveling, doing archaeology and living abroad. That's how I spent my time and my money.

I wouldn't trade it for the world and do believe that one day, if it's meant to be, I'll have the things that make a person "a mature adult" but that deep inside, I'll always have my head in the clouds, giggling with a cute boy (aka Young at Heart Man) reading poems.