Friday, December 29, 2006

Donny Osmond- Puppy Love


A Gift That Keeps On Giving

When Jill called twelve years ago and asked me to go and see an Andrew Lloyd Webber Musical I was taken aback.

I have known Jill for years and she is one, tough cookie. She has worked in construction for the past ten years and prior to that she was a bar maid at a very popular tough, blues bar. Famous blues artists knew her by name, greats like Buddy Guy, Mac Guitar Murphy or Stevie Ray Vaughn would dedicate songs in their set to Jill. She could balance a tray of beers, handle change, take a bow all in good grace with a cigarette dangling from her lips.

She was a no nonsense type of woman that was used to smokey caverns and to be asked to go to a musical with her was if anything out from the character I thought I knew.

'Ahh, come on Pendullum! You love musicals! It will be fun!' she begged....

'But, its Andrew Lloyd Webber and I am not a big fan,' and huffily add 'He still has a alot answer for with that 'musical' Cats!'

Ohhh,Come on Pend...Donny Osmond is in it!!

Donny Osmond? Are you kidding? No! No, I mean, even MORE of a reason NOT to go...

Come on, it will be great...she implored.

'I would not put Donny and Andrew Lloyd Weber together and come up with 'Great' Jill...Really!'

'Oh,Pend,My friend Ginger is part of the chorus and really wants to me to go... Please?'

'Oh, Jill...All right, but this is for your friend...'

So my dear, rocking, 'gal pal' drove into the mean city so that we could have lunch get caught up. I did not really see her excitement in the moment. I just though she was excited to see me as it had been a while. I thought the speed in which she talked was due to getting all the information out before we had to sit in the darkened theatre. I thought that when she paid our bill while I was using the loo was just her being generous and thanking me for going to the musical. I did not register the urgency or that she was rushing me out of the restaurant.

How little did I know.

We entered the theatre and were surprised as we were fourth row centre. I was not too taken up with our seats, as I was of the fully grown Donny Osmond fans behind us. These two women were decked out in their purple socks and old Donny Osmond hats and they brought their ten year old daughters to educate them on how great Donny was/is. They were living for this Donny moment all of their lives.

I barely had time to register all of what was around me when the orchestra started to play and the curtain opened and Donny made his appearance. The women behind me went crazy. They screamed as Donny floated above us.

'Fall on me!!!!! Donny!!!!! Fall on me, Do what you want with ME!!!! Donny!!!' they belted in hysteria.

I just simply could not believe this 'Donny experience'. I was in awe that such adoration. Apparently if you love Donny it could last what appears to be a lifetime of unrequitted puppy love.
As the women screamed 'He is the gift that just keeps on giving!!!' I had to smirk.

The fans realized that their screams of want and desire, were being muted by the orchestra and the entire cast belting out the showtunes.They decided to save their voices for the end of the show when Donny would come out for his bow and then their voices would maybe carry to their hearthrob for the last twenty years.

For all my skeptism I was impressed with the show. I dare say it was good. I was entertained and enjoyed the ride of the musical.

And at the end of the show my girlfriend Jill was gloating that I did enjoy the musical. It went unnoticed on my radar when she requested, with the demonic smile, that we go back stage to congratulate Ginger on the show's success. I did not notice that she grabbed me and tugged me along leaving no room for escape.

We had to exit the theatre and go in through the back stage doors. And to my surprise there were our neighbouring seatmates, the mothers from hell in their purple socks with their Donny Osmond records and their embarassed,daughters who had not felt the wonder on Donny. There were waiting at the stage door in hopes of having another Donny moment. I looked at them and looked at my girlfriend. I did not recognize/ register that they were wearing the same crazed expression. As Jill just kept on talking about the show and aparently did not notice these wacky fans. I wish I looked into Jill's eyes at that time. But hindsight is twenty twenty.

My girlfriend gave our name and we were lead into the inner corridors of the theatre. We were told to wait in the green room for Ginger. And while we waited I looked at the portraits on the wall and kept myself amused. I talked about the various publicity shots and my girlfriend responded to each of these comments cohearantly with the odd 'aha'.

When Ginger walked in I gushed and 'oo'ed over her performance. She was pretty happy we came and marvelled at how well received the show was. She then said that she really wanted us to meet Donny. She said that he was a pure joy to work with. He was wholesome and kind. He was considerate to all in the cast and there really was not a bad word you could say about him. In fact, he was going to drop in before he head home.

And almost on cue, Donny entered stage left. He had showered and was wearing grey dress pants and a black shirt as he was due to go to church. He looked good. He still had that boyish, country, wholesome, smile with those great Osmond teeth. He came into the room congratulated Ginger by name, on an excellent performance and then turned his attention to us. Ginger introduced me first.

Hi, Don Osmond.

Hi, I am Pendullum. Boy, that was a really great performance you guys gave. I really liked it a lot. REALLY.Surprised as I did not think I would.

Geez thanks. No,I really do have a great cast. It has been a lot of fun. I really like it here.

And we talked as if we were at a cocktail party. And then Ginger introduced Jill.She was beaming from ear to ear and then I recognized the expression. I recognized the expression as it was the same as the derranged mothers.I was not with my friend Jill. I was with a crazed Donny Osmond fan.

She stood up to greet Donny. She reached out with both her hands and grabbed Donny's hand. She grabbed him with both hands and just stared. A vacant stare with this smile that encompassed her entire face.

Her eyes were fixated on Donny's and she was not blinking.

She opened her mouth to speak.

She was trying to say something.

"annanmmana' came out of her lips.

I looked over at my friend. She was shaking Don's hand with such urgency that Donny's body looked as though it were vibrating.

'Amamannnabanna, ahhhhh, ohhhhh, anananman Jill, amanana loooooooove, amaman Jill, loooooove, ahhh,yyyyyyoouuuu, ahhhhh DDDDDDonny' came out of my drooling friend's mouth.

Donny is looking to me for help as Ginger is thinking this is indeed an out of body experience.

I reach over and try to pry Jill's hands off Mr. Osmond while she still spoke in the forked tongue of love.

I tried as best I could to translate for my friend.

'Ahh, what she is meaning to say Donny, I mean Don, is that her name is Jill and she is a big fan. Is this right Jill?'

'AAAHkkkk ahhkkkke yyyyeaahhh'

And as I pried her hands off of him and he being the pro, with these 'types' of Donny moments kept eye contact with her and nodded and thanked her.

'And I think she is also trying to say that she liked the show? Am I right here, Jill?'

'Ahhhhhhaaaa. wwwove aiiit wwwove Iiiiii wwwwoooovee'

'Well thanks again...' Don says with humble pride.

And when I finally pry his hand free he thanks her for coming and backs out of the green room nice and slow.

And with the essence o Donny still in the room, my girlfriend returns to the land of the living as quickly as she exited.

I look at her in disbelief.

Pendullum, Pendullum! I just shook hands with DONNY OSMOND! DONNY OSMOND!!!!
Ohhh, My Gawd, he is beautiful.I handled that okay. Don't you think? I mean I didn't try and kiss him or anything...

Yeah, you're right! You did not exactly speak English!You kinda spoke Donny Osmondese...

'Ohh, Pendullum,' she sobbed, 'He is just a gift that keeps giving!'

And twelve years later, Jill is so right. Whenever we chat or reminice, we speak 'Donny Osmondese' and laugh and laugh at a 'moment' that just keeps on giving!

And from the bottom of my blogger heart, I wish all of you endless 'Donny Osmondese' moments... as it truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Love to all of you in 2007!

Much Love,
Pendullum!

69 comments:

Gina said...

Happy New Year to you as well!

Was that by any chance Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Coat? Am I imagining that he was in that?

Anonymous said...

I love that.

Happy new year to you, your friend Jill and to Donny Osmond.

"The gift that keeps on giving" I love it.

Pendullum said...

Yes, It was Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat!

Kristin said...

You and Jill have made my day... damn, I knew I should have held on to the very snazzy purple-socks-with-Donny's-face on them that I received for Christmas of '77.

Happy New Year to you!!

BTW - I saw Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat starring Andy Gibb... but, with my parents and little brother and they weren't as much fun as your friend, Jill.

Attila the Mom said...

I can't stop laughing!!

I still have a fold-out poster of Donny from a 1976 or so Tiger Beat Magazine! [sigh]

Happy New Year!!

Pendullum said...

KRISTIN: Andy Gibb,now there is yet another teen heartbeat...
And,ohhh, my gawwwwd...
what a gorgeous pic of a gorgeous BABE!!!! You are one rockin' Momma!

ATTILA: You do not??? Really?? Post the pic! orare there too many kiss marks????

Grim Reality Girl said...

Your stories are the gifts that keep on giving! Oh my gosh -- that was too funny! You know, you always hear good things about Donnie...

Happy New Year!!!

Catch said...

Another great story Pen!!! I always loved that song "Puppy Love" and Donny Osmond will always be a cutie. Im glad you went with her..you are a good friend Pen.I wish you a Happy New Year too! Ive made some awesome friends in 2006 and you are one of them! I enjoy your posts so much. Hugs to ya Sweety!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

What a wonderful story! I loved it!!

I've never really been an Osmond fan, but he has always sounded like a lovely, kind person, and that is so unusual in the business.

Your stories are totally captivating, and always a great read.

I wish you and yours the happiest of New Years.

Nikki said...

yeah sure...we both know that it was you speaking Donnie Osmondeeze LOL

Happy New Year to you and your Pendullum.

...and just a moralistic tip for you....it IS OKAY to take kickbacks....LOL

chelle said...

hehe that is too fun! I always tell myself that there is no way I would get all gushy but there are certain celebs out there that just might make me all weird!!!

Have a beautiful New Year!

Haute Mama said...

I knew it! I saw the same musical and I laughed so hard when Donny "flew" up at the audience in 4D!

Love reading your blog (:

Sandra said...

I. loved. that. Sounds great!

Happy New year to you, Jill and sweet Donny :)

Wendy Boucher said...

What a GREAT story! I'm still chuckling and trying to imagine how I would act if I met one of my long time celebrity crushes. I'm pretty sure Osmondese would come out of my mouth too.

Happy New Year!

Marcie said...

Good story. Sometimes it's nice to be just simply entertained.
I had the Donny and Marie dolls when I was little. I loved their show.
Happy New Year!!!!

Undercover Angel said...

Happy New Year!

I loved the Donny Osmond story - it reminded me of the Friday nights that I used to spend watching the Donny and Marie show. I miss those days...

IzzyMom said...

My friend tells a great story about seeing Donny on the lot at Universal during a tour. He was sitting in a golf cart and when nobody recognized him, he looked crushed!

Happy New Year!!!

IzzyMom said...

I should have noted that this took place before Donny was doing musicals and wasn't yet all over VH1 and was really off the radar, so to speak.

Bamboo Lemur Boys Are Mean To Their Girls said...

Thank you so much for stopping by and wishing me a great new year. i wish the same for you. i hope every possibility you see becomes yours and every problem becomes a possibility.

xoxo much happiness to you

robin

Chaotic Mom said...

Holy Crap, this is the funniest post I've read so far today. I need to send this to a Donny fan friend of mine. Yes, I have one, too. ;)

You need to publish this story of yours. Somewhere. I mean, your blog is GREAT, but this story is AMAZINGLY funny. Need to share it with even more folks.

I'm sending your link to my friend now. You have just made my heart laugh tonight. Thank you SO MUCH. ;)

Mrs. T said...

As always, lovely, lovely post. Have you considered writing a book? You've really got a knack.
On Osmond- I had the Donny and Marie dolls- complete with purple disco outfits.
Happy New Year, my blogging friend!

OhTheJoys said...

That is hilarious!
Happy New Year Pend... so glad to have you in my virtual life (and sad that you aren't my next door neighbor!)

JLee said...

"the gift that keeps on giving"...isn't that fruitcake? lol Man, I used to have a crush too, but got over it at 12! hahah That is too funny. Have a wonderful 2007!

Kim Ayres said...

Being a straight man, I have to say that Donny never did it for me. Suzie Quatro on the other hand...

Happy New Year Pendullum!

chichimama said...

Happy New Year! I love that story.

carrie said...

Oh my, that is so how I would act if I ever met Dave Matthews!!!

Great story!!

Happy New Year!

Carrie

Girlplustwo said...

terrific. you are an excellent friend.

happy new year.

Chicky Chicky Baby said...

*snicker*

Donny Osmond?

Hee hee.

I laugh because I think he's cute, and that is just wrong.

Happy 2007!

Stepping Over the Junk said...

OOOOOHHHH! I saw Patrick Cassidy (David Cassidy's brother) in Joseph a few years ago. I can sing it word for word since we did the production in 6th grade!! Also got a backstage tour of Phantom of the Opera in L.A. Yet never had a Donny Osmond moment. I'll just relive yours through your post because that was awesome!

Lawyer Mama said...

You met Donny Osmond? How cool is that! I'd like to think I would have been much cooler than Jill but I don't know....

Awesome Mom said...

Rofl that is priceless!! I hope that you have a wonderful new year too!

strauss said...

I have never had a Donny-like moment either. I find it quite fascinating when I hear of people who completely lose it over an idol; more so I think, when decades have passed. I don't quite get it, but the phenomenon still intrigues me.
In the 60's my Dad and his mate went to the movies to see a Beatles film (not concert). He told me that girls were screaming, crying and fainting in the cinema... and the Beatles weren't even physically there.
Thanks for sharing.

Open Grove Claudia said...

Ok that's hilarious. I had to plug my ears and go "la,la,la,la" due to my own embarassment over doing similar things.... but let's not go there.

urban-urchin said...

I lurved the Donny and Marie show when I was tiny. But the aging fans would scare me.

You just described my meeting Bono when I was 15. I WAS your friend Jill, and my friend just stared at me in horror when i was speaking in the 'forked tongue of love'.

Happy New Year to you!!

Namito said...

and giving and giving...

One of my deep dark secrets (really more like a pink and fluffy one...which IS dark, for me) is that when I was around 8 years old, I liked Donny and Marie. I even had a little blue transistor radio (remember those?...please say you do) with a picture of Donny and Marie on it. I would listen to it late at night, muffled under the blankets. Strangely enough, I don't really remember any of their music, though. Not THAT big of a fan.

I do remember Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat though. Pretty fun.

Glad you were there to save Donny's hand. I'm sure he was thanking you behind those dark lashes of his!

A very Happy New Year to you, you awesome writer, you!

Cristina said...

What a great way to say Happy New Year. Another fabulous story from one of my favorite bloggers! I will never think of Donny again without thinking of this story. Ha!

Happy New Year to you are your family, Pendullum!

Unknown said...

Happy New Year to you! What a great story. I don't like to brag but the Osmond brothers were the first concert I ever attended as a mere lassie...

wayabetty said...

That was hilarious!! I was the same way with Kurt Russell when he was in Boston while Goldie filmed a movie with Steve Martin 7 years ago, I think. I didn't realize he's such a short guy but I was too star struck to say anything or even get an autograph!

Happy New Year to you!!

Catherine said...

I'm so JEALOUS!!

The closest I've ever gotten to meeting someone famous was this rapper dude that my ex wanted to see back in college. It's terrible. I shook his hand, and I can't even remember his name; it was THAT meaningful.

What I would give to witness someone I know and love speaking in tongues over Donny Osmond. HILARIOUS!!

annulla said...

What a story! Hilarious and very well told.

Hope you have a wonderful new year and keep the tales coming.

Christina_the_wench said...

Happy New Year, Pend!

I love Donny. Always will. I kissed a purple poster of him when I was 7. I stand unashamed.

The Domesticator said...

*LOL*
What a funny story! I must admit, I had a Donny Osmond poster on my wall in my younger days. I would pay homage to it by kissing the poster every night before I went to bed! :)

Happy New year! I wish you the best in the new year...

Kyla said...

Oh, the hilarity!! :) Happy New Year!

Girl con Queso said...

What a great story! My husband talked to Marie Osmond in New York a few years ago and she completely ignored him. So our Osmondese is when I tune him out. It's great. Happy 2007!

mamatulip said...

Good grief, you need to write a book. PLEASE. Your stories are fantastic. This post had me laughing all over the place. ;)

Anita said...

Isn't Donny Osmond like 73 now? Haha, just kidding.

Thanks for stopping by Say No to Crack, glad you liked the video and look forward to seeing you again! ;)

mad muthas said...

our publicist also handled donny's book in the uk - and she confirmed that there were long lines of mature ladies drooling wherever they went. quite an image, eh?

LBA said...

What a moment to look back upon and laugh about !

Classic.

I also got dragged to a "J and his T D" production and also loved it, unexpectedly. Andrew Lloyd Weber = Ugh.

And yes, those Osmond teeth were perfect.

Happy New Year !

Kelly Wolfe said...

what a cool story. maybe i have underestimated donny. hmmm.

And I was totally thinking Technicolor Dreamcoat and then confirmed it in reading the other comemnts. ha ha.

Lisa

Pendullum said...

GRIM REALITY : Thank You. Donny was a doll.

CATCH: I had Puppy Love and played it way toooften as a kid.. Thaank you ever somuch for all your truly sweet compliments.

HEARTINSANFRAN: THAnk you. The entire cast loved Donny, that says a lot in show business.

NIKKI: Yeah, I understand Donny Osmondese baby... I don't speak it...

KIM: Jimmy????Jimmy??? That is just wrong!!! I saw Shaun Cassidy on the street about two years ago... He has not aged as nicely as is older brother David.

CHELLE: I avoid celebs for the same reason.

HAUTE MAMA: Ha! and I loooooove reading your blog too.

SANDRA: You too, you red hot clutzy Momma You! Happy New Year!

WENDY BOUCHER:I avoid celebs because even thoug I have not spoken in forked tongues of love and admiration... I would not put it past me either...

MARCIE & UNDERCOVER ANGEL: I watched them too. and to my utter embaressment I can still sing "i'm a little bit country & I'm a little bit Rock and Roll'\

IZZYMOM: Is Don really on the radar???

GHANDI RULES: Beautiful as always.

CHAOTIC MOM AND MRS.T :But who would buy it? Thanks for the ego boost though.

OH, THE JOYS: Me too, you skinny wench you!

JLEE: Ha!!!

KIM AYRES: Can understand the Susie thing, even though I am a straight female.

CHICHIMAMA: Thanks Honey!

CARRIE: I now know you Acheles heel or should I say heart?

JEN: Thanks!

STEPPING OVER JUNK: Patrick? There's a PAtrick? I met David. I even wrote an embaressing blog about it this past summer.

LAWYER MAMA: You never can tell with these things...

AWSOME MOM: Thanks!

STRAUSS: My daughter wouldlose it if she met Mr. Ringo Starr. Sad but true.

OPEN GROVE CLAUDIA: Let's do... Come on spill da' beans!

URBANURCHIN: Heyyyy?I resemble that remark....
I would probably be the same if I met Bono. He and his band love to wonder our streets in my fair city as no one bugs them...

ROCK THE CRADLE: Laughing... Donny Osmond... I mean, I usedto have that ablum Crazy Horses that I played at nauseum and if you go to you tube you can find it... Kinda sends shivers down my spine now, to think that I loved it...

MOTR: And how often do you really think of Donny??? I am still glowing with your news!!! So happy for you!!!

AMBER: How old were you??? You had to have been around 6 you sweet, young, thing you!

WAYABETTY: Too funny!

CATHERINE:I would probably have OnTHE BANKS OF THE RIOGRANDONESE as you are one terrific writer!

ANNULLA: As long as you keepup with your amazing adventures you take me on through your beloved city of yours!

CHRISTINA:I did too... and I also have admitted to David. There was also Donny. But somehow I wasnot embaressed meeting Donny... or should I say Don???

PATTIE: I fear my daughter's homage is to Ringo Starr! I can see Donny? But my nine year old loves Ringo!

KYLA: Thanks!

GIRL CON QUESO: Sad. Her house burnt down while her husband was in charge... The kids were not hurt but the house was totalled...

MAMATULIP: You First!

SAY NOTTOCRACK: Donny is ageless!

MADMUTHAS: So do you guys tour together? hahaha ; )

H&B: 'Classic' is the right word for it indeed!

MIMI: You are such a whippersnapper!!!

Pendullum said...

LISA GOLDSTEIN: Never under estimate the power of Donny..or as I have now nick named him to Jill ... Donny Osmond is now just called DA'DON!

ditzymoi said...

Excellent ..Crazed fans are everywhere arent they? Who figured DON would preserve so well ?

ditzymoi said...

Ohhh and Happy 2007 to you Pen *big hugs*

Pendullum said...

KIM: Yes they are... And Happy Hapy 2007 to you too my dear blogger friend!

Kevin Charnas said...

AAAHHHH HAHAHA!! excellent...EXCELLENT! thank you for that, Pend... I feel as though I got to share a bit of that most fantastic-surreal moment. However, I do wish that I could've witnessed your face as well as Donny and Jill's.

Happy New Year to you as well, darling. I wish with all of my heart that it's a wonder-filled one for you and your family.

With Love,
Kevin

Ruth Dynamite said...

The moment I saw the Donny video at the top of your post, I called my kids over and said, "I used to LOVE this guy. I mean LOOOOOVE." And they quickly scurried away, disinterested.

Donny Osmond was my first love (in 1st grade) - even before horses. Back then he was HOT.

Thank you for being a coherent spokesperson on behalf of those who probably couldn't find the words if given the chance. You're my hero.

Pollyanna said...

As always, GREAT great GREAT story. I LOVE your stories. You HAVE got to write a book if you haven't already. I swear to Gawd, you are probably already super famous somewhere.....

I will chuckle everytime I see Donny on TV now. :)

I don't know who I would go gaga over if I met them in real life. Maybe Erik Estranda, from Chips, when I was a kid? I still think he is SOOOO handsome. Rock stars though? Hmmmm...can't think of anybody. maybe Madonna? And no, I am not a gay man in real life. :) :0 HHAHAHA

Nancy said...

That was a great story. My eyes were riveted to the screen as you told it.

I heard Donny Osmond was spectactular in Joseph. Sounds like it really was true!

Happy 2007!

Pendullum said...

KEVIN CHARNAS: My face looked like I was witnessing a Donny Train wreck of love...
and I wish wonders for you and Will...

RUTH DYNAMITE: I am moved by your warm words... But it truly was Jill who'articulated' the words of love...

JODI: Eric Estrada?Oh My ...And I could see many having a Madonna moment...

MOM MA'AM ME: He was specatcular... Too bad You Tube does not have any Dream Will Do... as it gave a taste for his range...

Anonymous said...

Hi Pendullum-
Thanks for the comment on my blog! I haven't posted in awhile... been really busy and haven't even been able to visit my favorite blogs to read, nor have I really had much to say.

Loved the Donny Osmond post. I know exactly what you mean about people obsessed with someone or something. I guess I've done it at some points in my life... but never to the extent of some of these people. And I'm at a place now where I just can't get that hyped up about anything or anyone... other than my own girls, maybe. ;o)

I'll try to drop in another time and see what's going on in your world.

Becky

Kim said...

It was definately the gift that keeps on giving. I love IT and moments like it.

I have posted before about this particular disorder. I have it too. However, I have it everytime I see a musical/play. I pick a character and from that moment on....I am in love. At least your friend was selective....right?

Battlerocker said...

Happy (belated) New Year. Thanks for dropping by my blog, and leaving a link to yours. I've never had a moment link this, but I think that's a result of not having met the right celebrities, rather than not having the capacity. We'll see.

Pendullum said...

BECKY:My dear friend Jill has neverhad a problem with celebrity before...I imagine it was just the essence of Donny that sent her to the moon and back.

KAREN FOREST: Yes, She was as I have never seen her doit again.... And as for your 'disorder'...I think that maybe you would make for a fine actress,,,

BATTLEROCKER: I think you are right, after posting this I did think who would 'get"me to the point of what Jill was going through... and I suppose I still have to give it more thought and warn my friends in advance!

Mama en Fuego said...

I thought I had posted a comment but it does not appear to be here....

Oh I know where it is, it's at your back door waiting for you to come out with pen in hand eager to receive your autograph. ;)

Darling...YOU are the gift that just keeps on giving. I love your stories.

Pendullum said...

DIRTY BIRDIE: You make me blush! You have brightened rhis bad day of mine!!!

the mystic said...

Those times are the gifts that keep on giving, thanks for pointing it out. Seeing the world through your stories is always so wonderful. Have a great 2007!

Pendullum said...

MOMMYWITHATTITUDE:Thank you and same to you!

Moobs said...

Your man is 100% pure class.

I would like to know, however, what continent tha breakfast was supposedly typical of.

Scribbit said...

Oh how I loved watching Donny and Marie. I begged for an autograph and they turned me down. I'm still working through it. :)