Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Seasons of Love - Rent (Music Video)


Today is the Anniversary of My Best Friend's Passing

My Best Friend died this day 2001 at 4:45pm.

My Best Friend Died Alone in a hospital bed while I frantically tried to figure out how to get back to New York to climb into his hospital bed and whisper from the inner depths of my heart and soul that 'I love you madly!!! 'I truly Love you!!!'

And while my husband said it was so fitting that he died before the darkest day of the year so that I may mourn him...It gave me no solace...

But years later, I still mourn him on this day... For what I lost. For what the world lost.

But most importantly I celebrate him.

I celebrate the friendship.

I celebrate the moments he gave me...and they will be cherished my entire life.

He gave me wonders...

And he wished wonders for me and my family...

And to all of you from the bottom of my heart...

I wish you all wonders on this holiday season...

Lift up your hearts, behold the lights, embrace the stars and give lots of love, for in the end, isn't that how the season and life should be measured?

40 comments:

Oh, The Joys said...

Remember the life, measure your life in love.

Love you.

OTJ

chelle said...

Have a wonderful holiday season. Hugs!

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I'm so sorry for your loss.
Always "Measure your life" in lots of love!!!

Have a wonderful holiday with your friend's memory deep in your heart!

Wendy Boucher said...

How beautiful and poignant. I'm sorry for your loss but I love the spirit you are left with.

Nikki said...

((hugs)))

Kristin said...

Oh, Pend- why aren't you off earning a bazillion dollars with your talent for saying everything just right.

Happy holidays to you and your family and your friends... I am proud to "know" you and call you my friend.

Love,

K.

kim said...

Ohhh Penn Im so sorry you hurt ...*big hugs*

I wish you all kinds of joy and I hope you and your family have a wonderful Merry Christmas!!

bananas62 said...

Celebrate the life he led, the man he was, and the love he offered! Be sad he is gone, but, glad you had the opportunity to call him your friend!

((hugs to you my friend))

and have a joyous holiday season!

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

I am so sorry for your loss, and it sounds like you had a beautiful relationship.

Lisa

Gina said...

I am also sorry for the loss of someone so dear to you.

But what a wonderful tribute to his life, as he inspired so much caring.

pinknest said...

pendullum, i hope you have a spectacular holiday and best wishes in the new year! xoxo

Catch said...

what a sweet post this is Pendullum. I am so sorry you lost him, but so happy that you had a friend in your life like him.

I wish you and your family a wonderful Christmas season. And I am very happy to have you as a friend...I cant begin to tell you how much I enjoy your posts.

Merry Christmas Penn...and God bless.

mama_tulip said...

Your words are powerful, meaningful, and true.

Peace be with you...

chichimama said...

A beautiful tribute. I am so sorry for your loss, and joyful that you were able to have such a friend, although not for as long as you should have. May we all be blessed with such a friendship.

Waya said...

My heart goes out to you for this great loss. Memories are what we hold on to and cherish.

I wish you and your family lots of love and happiness for Christmas and a healthy New Year!!

heartinsanfrancisco said...

This is so beautiful. Somebody much wiser than I said that it is necessary to part from loved ones so that we can meet again. I don't like the hiatus part, but I think it was a reference to reincarnation, and that I do believe completely. I am sure that we meet the same souls in many lifetimes, and that we know each other on a cellular level, the one above our normal perceptions.

Your friend is not gone from your life. He is merely scouting out new territory in which to continue your loving relationship.

Happy holidays to you and your family.

Pattie said...

I am so sorry you lost someone so dear to you. The music put to your words was truly poignant.
I wish you a most peaceful holiday season filled with much love, joy, and memories....beautiful memories.
:)

crazymumma said...

And by telling us about him (I am among the lucky, I have seen photos), he is better remembered. His spirit lives on through the love you feel.

Sheila said...

What a loss Pendullum - I wish you all the best this Christmas, Sheila

seventh sister said...

Do you do any kind of ceremony for him, even a little one that only you know about?

carrie said...

And right back at you too! I love the way you always see the positive in everything, truly a blessing! What a beautiful friendship you must have had then, and still now.

Always treasure those moments, always.

Carrie

strauss said...

A beautiful testiment to your friendship amidst the pain that still remains.
You sound like such a wonderful friend.
Merry Crhistmas and joys for the New Year.

Kim Ayres said...

Wishing you all the best for the festive season

Marcie said...

Thanks for the reminder and I'm sorry you lost your friend.
Merry Christmas.

Open Grove Claudia said...

A friend of mine killed himself when I was in high school. He was enraged at himself for being gay.... being gay! He died December 8th.

I remember him every year at that time. You eliquently express those feelings of loss.

Friends are the blessings of this life.

h&b said...

Thankyou.

Beautiful share. I'm sure your friend is smiling down on you for writing this.

Thankyou.

Lisa said...

Beautiful post. I'm sure he'd read this and be very, very moved and proud of you!

Moobs said...

What a moving post and what a blessing to have had a friendship like that.

Catherine said...

Oh, how you move me. *hand holding tight to heart*

Love to you and your family during this holiday season, Pendullum.

Fresh Mommy said...

Your sentiments are beautiful.

Wishing you peace.

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I want to cry, that was a gift to read. I am sorry about your friend. Rent is one of my favorites and we listen to the music in the car all the time! Happy New Year

Domestic Chicky said...

This song, and basically the whole movie, never fails to bring me to tears...of joy and sorrow. I am so sorry for your loss, and I hope time eases your pain. I don't think we ever really lose our friends and family who pass away, they are just with us in a different way...

Pendullum said...

OTJ: Always,always!

CHELLE:Right back at you You Canadian Babe!

JANET: Thank You sweetie!

WENDY: Thank you and yes he did leave me with his great spirit that continues to inspire me.

NIKKI: Hugs right abck at you, You 'bangless' eyebrowless woman you!

KRISTIN: Right back at you... You have to be one of the best out there Babe... Truly!

KIM: Thank you Sweetie, Hope your Christmas was Merry despite the' non believer'!

BANANAS62:Everyday of my life...And a hug right back to you...Hope your holiday was joyous!

LISA:YEs we did.

GINA: He certainly did! Even now that he has been gone for so long... He can still make me cry.

PINKNEST:Right back at you Honey... Keep those food moments coming... I eat vicariously through your posts!

CATCH: Right back at you you stunning Babeyou...
I love your posts... even though at times they make me blush...

MAMA TULIP: And peace be with you too... Thinking of you at this holiday time and how much your posts have meant to me. They can move me to tears...

CHICHIMAMA:He Really was a soulmate. And glad I could experience it...Even if it was for a very finite time.

WAYA: Betty, I wish you and your lovely family the best over this holiday season...

HEART:My husband calls are Dog by my late friend's name... He thinks that he came back to me in the form of a dog as he says he can see the love in my friend had for me in my dog's eyes...

PATTI: It is the song that sums him up.

CRAZYMUMMA: And Handsome he was.

SHEILA: Wishing you the best as well Sweetie...

7th SISTER: Every year we do a wee toast to the heavens, on his birthday and on September 10th as that is the last time I saw my friend.

CARRIE: I do. I truly do.

STRAUSS: It went both ways. He was such a good friend!

KIM: Right Back at you and your wonderful family!

MARCIE: Merry Christmas to you too!

OPEN GROVE CLAUDIA: Amen!

H&B:He had such a wicked smile!

LISA:When I eulogized him I could feel his pride...

MOOBS: It was Moobs. It really was.

CATHERINE: You are one of my favourite soul sisters out in blog land... One of the best... And my heart is on my chest saying it right back at you!

FRESH MOMMY: Thank you.

STEPPING OVER JUNK: My best friend took me to seee Rent in NY a few days afterJnathon Larson died. It was a very moving experience... And Rent still holds such a place in my heart.

Pendullum said...

DOMESTIC CHICKY: You are so right!

Mama C-ta said...

I'm so sorry, he sounds like a wonderful person.

Pendullum said...

MAMMA C-TA: He was.

Kevin Charnas said...

Absolutely...absolutely.

I have missed you...

Pendullum said...

KEVIN CHARNAS: I have absolutely missed you too!

MommyWithAttitude said...

I'm so sorry you lost your best friend. Your incredible way with words never fails to bring tears to my eyes.

Happy New Year!

Pendullum said...

MOMMYWITHATTITUDE:Than you so very much! Happy New Year to you, too!