Friday, August 18, 2006


What Advice Do You Follow???

As a kid you are given endless pieces of advice... There are pieces that stick and there are those that just fly by...

There is a great deal of my life that is twinged my gaelic superstition...
Like you NEVER put new shoes on a table...
Itchy nose... Means you are going to have an argument or your going to be kissed by a fool... So if you do not think you are going to kiss the person you are with, quickly shake their hand so your ties of friendship may not be broken through the argument...

My homicide detective dad would cringe as his mother would bestow such advise... and then go into his own diatribe..Like if a guy is asking for directions do you give him directions?

The answer is no... For what the hell is a guy asking for directions of a girl for... The jails are littered with guys that succeeded in getting directions...Men are what fill jails... And it is not up to you to figure out which ones are the good guys...

and if he would then go on with if I ever found myself to to be lost... I was to only go to a mother... find a mother and ask for help...A mother is a whole lot easier to find than a cop... And a mother will help...

These pieces have filtered down to my parenting even today...Even the shoes...

When I was a young girl and just embarking on the dating game my mother turned to me and said'Don't get me wrong, your father is a good man.... But NEVER.....NEVER....Depend upon a man for your happiness... That comes within you. Be self reliant.'

When pregnant, I was told a mother instinctively knows where it is best to have her baby. hospital vs. home... And that a mother should always go with their instincts.

When discussing labour my best friend who was the first survivor of kidney cancer in New York told me... 'Never have a clock near you when you are in pain... Do not look at a clock... Do not think of time... Just deal with the moment. And you can get through anything.'

And now I want to know from you dear reader what piece of advice you have been given that you follow...

Or that you give...

46 comments:

Nikki said...

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

pinknest said...

i was told: please do not participate in wet tshirt contests. (this was actual advice given to me...i didn't know whether to be in shock or laugh)

bananas62 said...

DON'T DEPEND ON ANYONE FOR ANYTHING AND YOU WILL SELDOM BE DISAPPOINTED.

I tell that to my girls all the time. It's a harsh world out there and alot of people are just too flakey!

Samantha said...

LOVE TRULY, MADLY, DEEPLY. YOU MAY GET HURT BUT IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO LIVE.

Someone sent me this in an email and I believe in it fully.

IF YOU CAN'T BE GOOD, BE EXTRODINARY.

My life motto.

virtualsprite said...

I love the advice about the clock... it's true. It is a lot easier to deal with the moment when that moment is of an undetermined time.

I always tell my kids that you can't always get what you want, but you can be happy to have what you do. Oh, and don't pick your nose where other people can see you.

Kristi said...

I forgot about the 'look for a mom' one. We use that, too.

We are up to our ears in advice for our kids:

Don't buy anything you can't pay for (no credit cards).

Sit like a lady. (Don't show your panties if you're wearing a dress).

Barney stinks (self explanatory).

This stuff isn't so much advice as it is house rules...maybe I should rethink the word 'advice'.

Good post!

Andrea said...

Couple things:

It's better to try and fail than never to try at all. I said this to a man I'd met who lived three states away and didn't know if he wanted a long distance relationship. 6 years later, he married me.

People think happiness and contentment will happen once something is gained, be it a significant other, bigger house, better job, new car... The trick to true happiness is wanting what you already have.

gingajoy said...

shoes on table thing--me too. totally.

hmm. advice. my tendency is to dispense all sorts of unsolicited advice to pregnant women or new mothers, and then to say "do NOT listen to advice"

Babaloo said...

The easy choice isn't always the right one.

Work hard, play hard.

You cannot truly appreciate happiness without at some time experiencing pain.

Everything happens for a reason.

Look both ways before you cross the street.

Always wear clean underwear.

Catch said...

I agree with your Moms advice...and I always tell my daughter....always be able to take care of yourself. Dont count an a man to take care of you forever...it rarely happens.

my gf in high school got me hooked on no shoes on the table and always grab a button when you see a hurst so it wont be anyone in your family. I still do that one!

My Mom always said to never talk to strangers...always wear clean underwear and socks...and if you and a friend are walking together and you pass a pole and it comes between the two of you you have to say " bread and Butter" or you will have a fight I still do that one too! LOL

Oh, The Joys said...

No white pants before Memorial Day.
No white pumps ever.

EmmaK said...

I suppose the only advice I follow is, 'don't do today what you can put off until tomorrow'. The slacker's rule of thumb.

Flame Lilly said...

My Mom's advice or "Motto" that she embedded in me is "CARPE DIEM"
- Seize the Day! To really appreciate the here and the now because you never know what tomorrow holds!
Also, to live life with NO regrets. Go the extra mile!
All great advice from a very wise woman! Love you mom!!!

Pattie said...

I love the Four Agreements, By Don Miguel Ruiz, and I try very hard to embrace and pass on these
agreements I make with myself to live by:
1.Be impeccable with your word
2. DO NOT take anything personally
3. Don't make assumptions
4. Always Do Your best

I find when I am lost and I go back and read these words, and truly drink them in, I find comfort.

Sheila said...

Actually the best advice I have found did come from my Mum and its the same piece of gold that your mother told you, be self reliant. I have found my relationship is much healthier when both of us are excited about what eachother is up to - rather than being dependant on the others opinion. Thankyou for dropping by my blog - I will visit again....

chelle said...

Never depend on a man for income, get educated and be able to take care of yourself.

I adore that I got an education and hope the same for my daughter!

IzzyMom said...

That's a tall order but I do specifically remember my father telling me repeatedly that life is not fair.

And he was right. So I suppose that someday i will be imparting that piece of wisdom to my own kids, too, and sounding like broken record, as well.

FOUR DINNERS said...

You live you die, the bit in between is called life. Enjoy.

JLee said...

I sound just like my grandmother when I speak to my daughter about strangers trying to entice her into a car. If I had a nickel for everytime she said "now if someone offers you candy, you say NO and run away.." but I substitute "video game" for candy. lol

Attila The Mom said...

I loved these! Especially the "go to a mother if you're lost".

My dad used to say, "If you do what you always do, you'll get what you've always gotten".

I always think of that one when I'm in a rut.

Great post!

cameo said...

my mom gave me the 'don't rely on anyone else...' one too.
but the two other ones she gave that stuck with me are...

*don't do anything you'd be ashamed to tell your mother

*it's just so easy to pay your bills on time

crazymumma said...

Dance like there is no tomorrow....

mothergoosemouse said...

I was at a loss until I read Izzy's comment, which reminded me of what my father has always said: "It's all relative."

It used to annoy me, but I have to admit it has served me well when it comes to keeping life's happenings in perspective.

mama_tulip said...

Forewarned is forearmed.

And...always look for the positive.

I really believe that.

34quinn said...

Gosh this one was a real thinker...
For myself these two things.....

I have had to learn to recognizing the difference of what I want and what I NEED.

Always listen to your own intuition you can TRUST your instincts they will not steer you wrong.

To my children my big thing for them is to remember that life is full of choices and every choice they make will have a consequence. To always take a moment to remember this because some things cannot be fixed once done so make wise choices that they can have a happier future.

Kim Ayres said...

The best piece of advice, which I read a few years ago and desperately wish I'd known when I was younger, is "Work out what it is that you love doing, more than anything else; then learn to be good enough at it such that you can earn money doing it. That way you will always be happy, and might even be happy and rich."

I probably give out this piece of advice more than any other these days

Blonde Vigilante said...

WORK LIKE YOU DON'T NEED THE MONEY, LOVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT, AND DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS WATCHING.

Oh, The Joys said...

Thanks so much for your comment on my blog. I really appreciate it. I nearly burst into tears when you said you go buy moms in that situation a cup of coffee. The idea of that is so nice. I wish I was doing the mom thing in very close proximity to you!

Kevin Charnas said...

Loved the ones you posted...

My Mom: "Don't worry about something that might not happen, it's useless to worry. If it happens, you deal with it."

"If you can't laugh at yourself, you just left the job to someone else."

And - "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."

Moobs said...

I thought this would be easy but I cannot remember a single piece of advice I have been given. I suppose I simply never listened to it.

Christina_the_wench said...

I tell my girls to marry a guy who they can't stay mad at and who knows when and how to apologize. It makes living together so much easier.

Wendy said...

Girls can do anything boys can do, except pee standing up effectively.

Dirty Birdie said...

I have several:

- That which does not kill me better run like hell.

- A dependant woman is only one man away from welfare.

- Better to be respected than liked.

- Hating someone only hurts you, not the person you hate. Let it go.

- Forgive yourself, only then can you forgive others. (this is a hard one for me.)

- People will only treat you the way you let them.

Mommy off the Record said...

I feel that I am far to young to have any advice for anyone and at the moment I can't think of any advice that anyone has given me so I guess this comment really, well, sucks.

However, I do want to say that I took away something from this post. I really like the advice that your friend gave you about pain. I had, what I considered, a long and painful labor and I obsessed over the clock. Next time, I need to mentally prepare myself to NOT look at the clock and try to be present in the moment only. It's easier said than done of course, but it is great advice.

gandhi rules said...

send you intentions out into the universe and they will manifest but first think very carefully about that which you intend to create.

Pendullum said...

These were Amazing!
I am going to print them out and keep them with me...
and when you read them out loud they become pretty powerful... A great deal of the time I just paused after reading a line and really thought about it...
(I do not think I will be able to pass a funeral without rubbing a button...)
They all hit home...
I kept on checking in through the week to read the added tidbits of advice...It became quite addictive...

Ruth Dynamite said...

The best piece of advice I ever received is simply this: When in doubt, don't.

What's your e-mail address? ruthdynamite.hotmail.com

ninepounddictator said...

the best piece of advice is to never give advice...

(I mean, we all ask for it, but who really listens at the end of the day, right????)

Maritza said...

"If your boyfriend/husband ever hits you, you hit him back harder" while showing me her black cast iron skillet.

"Snap out of it!" - Moonstruck

Lisa said...

Georgous photo. I learned -- never wear a wrap-around skirt on a windy day.... Yup.

Her Bad Mother said...

Follow your instincts.

Blonde Vigilante said...

I see your meme and I raise you..well...I did it anyway.

pinknest said...

i bought some mardio badescu stuff!

almond honey scrub
apricot lotion
cucumber cream soap

i love them all!!

Jodi said...

My mom always used to say, "Can't never could". ERRRR. I hated that as a kid. But, it's true...

And I always say, "bloom where you planted". No good can come from wishing you were here or wishing you were there, just make the best of your situation.

Great post.

mad muthas said...

my cousin - a natural existentialist - said it's better to regret doing something that to regret not doing something. i'd go with that!
x

Karen said...

If you have to hurt someone, do so as kindly as you can. Be honest, and be supportive.

Never invite yourself anywhere.

Forewarned if forearmed.

Mean it when you apologize.